A Petrifying Improv Session

I was struck by various unfamiliar emotions yesterday, during our STAC improv session. Based on my recent studies of evil character roles, this was ultimately a large step forward for a happy guy like me. I realize now that walking across the stage in the beginning was helpful in building a character I hadn't planned in advance. I chose a grumpy old soldier towards the beginning, which evolved into a frustrated middle-aged man desperate to seek his son. I don't know if this happened to anyone else, but as I was sitting in the audience, I began to black out a bit, lose my sense of self-awareness, and tune out all of the good in my heart. Everything in my mind was focused on finding that damn thing I lost! Actually rising from my seat, pushing through the other students made my frustration rise, along with the anticipation to find my son. Honestly, I started to picture Daniel Day Lewis' villainous features and mannerisms as Luke started to interview each of us. I may have planned a little too much only because I wasn't used to these type of character traits.

The big step for me was not thinking so much in Douglas' mind, but more within the characters body. During my first few questions, I was devastated and anxious to leave that auditorium in search of my son. I couldn't even look up at the speaker because I was petrified to admit a mistake, I personally didn't make. Where was this wall (shielding my real emotions) coming from? When I finally did look up at Luke, I saw him as a stranger searching through my abstract past as if he didn't know me at all. The anger built because he was blocking me from getting to what I wanted and I felt that he was validating my (or my character's) sense of helplessness. Then, I began to feel my eyes get red because I was no longer able to grasp onto a happy memory, or a familiar face, or a common setting. The emotion didn't feel like acting at all because I wasn't thinking of anything else but what I yearned for. Lizzie and I agreed, it was a struggle to get out of character towards the end of our interviews. Usually when I act, I become so distracted by the audience or characters on stage that my mind becomes focused on impressing, rather then character awareness. I still continue to search for the simplest strategies (like this one) that help reverse my usual character roles and master the art of emotional expression without trying too hard.

Songwriting Potential Activity: Created by Douglas Fabian

SOO... I was searching through my Itunes library today, while strumming on guitar, and humming various melodies in my head. Suddenly, I was struck by lightning.... no! I thought of a quick writing strategy that I decided to test on a blank piece of blog paper...

First, take about three or four lyrics from one of your favorite songs (one that potentially "speaks to you") and write those lyrics out. My lyrics, "A Beautiful Mess" were taken from one of Jason Mraz's originals.

Now, I take these lyrics, put them on the top of the paper and start a poem without that much brain work (let emotions guide the writing):

Beautiful Mess

you are inching towards my core

Partnered with distress

you erase your sensible path

leaving a speck left to laugh

Do you indulge in masks?

Do you bare what words make you tear?

I'm surrounded now by your skill

fascinated by your strategy

we're here, we're always here

We just keep on waiting for your sound to be heard

______________________________________

Analyze your poem for a minute...

Next, I took my favorite line from this poem and started another, and so on...

To take it one step further, I tried turning this poem into a new song, with a total different melody and rhythm. It transforms the meaning. I really hope you can all give this a shot! It's fun, especially with an instrument nearby.

I find that this activity is really intriguing. The artist isn't just sitting down and writing a poem out of the blue, he/she must take lyrics that can be related to and combine those lyrics with inner expression and emotion. We all put our trust in music to take over our minds, so why not let music have a mind of its own and analyze our inner-self. Try it out!

A JOYful Workshop

This afternoon at 2:35 PM, all of the confident STACies in Joy's acting workshop packed up their monologues with unhappy grins, eagerly rushing to snap a picture with the well accepted instructor. I was one of these disappointed students capturing the memory because our time with this talented actress, who we barely got to know, was officially over. Anyone in that workshop can agree with me when I say that Joy is extremely confident in her field of work and has total respect for aspiring actors and actresses. She sustains an eloquent persona and constantly emits positive energy in her tone of voice, her mannerisms, and her unique personality. Handling constructive criticism professionally, Joy took her time in focusing on our characters and pointed out anything minor that we could fix in our pieces. For example, Joy would constantly enforce breath placement within our monologues to avoid tension and reduce the distraction of our nerves. At the same time, Joy would leave us thinking about the characters depth and the general subtext of our prepared monologues. The most effective strategy I picked up from this workshop, was to let the character have a purpose for everything he says, not just for the opening lines. This purpose will come from focusing on someone in front of you that has extreme significance in the subject of the monologue.

I admire Joy's availability, her dedication to each member of the group, and her ability to recognize our specific talents.

Overall, The workshop was extremely productive and captivating; however, it would have been better to have at least four more days with Joy because most of our time with her seemed rushed. She is such a knowledgeable actress, and if the workshops weren't so rushed, we could have grown even farther in the monologues and character study. I possibly could have tackled the other monologue I prepared. I think I speak for the whole group when I say, "Joy is welcome again anytime!"

I would also really enjoy making the documentary about Joy, portraying all of these unique qualities.

Perfectionism: My New Frenemy?

I've noticed... I've been navigating the world creatively without even knowing...

Recently, I have pondered the process of "getting things done" artistically and how much of a perfectionist I am in the process. When it comes to my main disciplines, I am quick to express my art; however, the process is intense and at times, nerve-wracking. A few weeks ago, I found the perfect thing to help me express my talent and at the same time, force me to admire perfectionism in a way. I'm sure you all heard of the "talent-craving" site: YouTube. Recently, my sister and I took on a challenge to put up three videos a week incorporating our vocals, guitar, and piano. At first, It was simple to start the channel because we're so used to jamming and connecting with music. However, once that camera hit our face, the thoughts of "what the world will think of this" and "are these good enough?" slithered through our minds.

Our channel consists of various covers of hit songs, incorporating our distinct harmony. This is the intense process: pick a song, memorize the lyrics, practice with guitar and vocals, add harmony, and record as many times until we enjoy the product. At times, I find this channel humorous because we OBSESS over this modern passage to fame. However, it's our passion (so we have no reason to get bored of it), and it's great practice for guitar, vocals, and ear training. Although my sister and I can re-record and press rewind, the channel keeps us determined and makes perfectionism significant in good music. Without the constructive criticism left in the comment box and without the over-practicing, Nat and I wouldn't be able to improve in our future videos. I think there should be an exception to the rule: when the product of perfectionism creates boundaries and blocks, we should avoid it. But when perfectionism surrounds us with confidence and beneficial hard work, we're allowed to cling to it more...

I hope you can all come check out our channel and follow us on this journey: http://www.youtube.com/dougandnat

STAC: The Journey so Far...

Lately, STAC has been altering my perspective on acting, causing me to view my discipline with a broadened mind, and see the world with open eyes. The space between reality and my invisible acting bubble has diminished within the past year. In other words, my acting is becoming exceedingly realistic, I am attentive to all surrounding actors, and my mind is constantly gearing away from judging the roles that I take on.

Ever since the repeating exercise, my mind is always focused on the emotions of the other actor or the other actor’s state of mind, as opposed to directing my attention to strictly reading the dialogue. This technique is decreasing the space between reality and my acting bubble by helping me gain more attentiveness onstage. I’ve learned that acting is reacting to emotions, facial expressions, and tone of voice. My analysis of opposing actors is constantly allowing my characters to develop. I now find myself looking into the eyes of actors as I say my lines, anticipating what they could say next (as if I didn’t know the script at all). I am also studying frightening/angry actors that play intimidating roles with pessimistic personalities. When watching Daniel Day Lewis dominate as the intimidating oil prospector in There Will Be Blood, I was struck by his acting ability to repeat his lines two times, sometimes with contrasting emotion and tone, and deliver brand new meanings to the viewer. Overall, what made his anger develop was his mindset and subtext behind each line, which he most likely provided by himself (on his own time). His emotions were most likely conveyed easier through his ability to restrain from judging his character. I’ve learned this year that judging a character is never successful in getting a purpose across; it is the true understanding of where your character is coming from, the characters perspective on his surroundings, that make actors form real life situations for the audience. It is fascinating how Daniel Day Lewis has taught me all of this from portraying his true interpretation of his character within There Will Be Blood.

I still find myself battling the destruction of this bubble, wanting to keep it shut as I go on with my navigation through life as an artist. I still find that I am judging the roles that I take on. For example, I tend to form extreme hate for one character that I play in The Dining Room. I am finding that it is better to travel behind the eyes of the character, view the prompt with his negative perspective. I’ve been trying to attach real life situations to these intense characters in the play, and if this is too difficult, I pay closer attention to the opposing actor, developing emotion that is dug up from a deeper subtext, one that I could relate too. I am now finding a way to incorporate some of this into my music and lyrics…

Ah! Perfectionism, Perfectionism

"Doug, it doesn't have to be perfect!" I hear the sentence at least twice a week as I navigate the world. It tends to sneak up on me as I act, sing, shoot films, and complete projects. I'm not sure how my ideal perspective on getting things done came to be. I believe it was the competition that used to drive my frustration when I was younger. The competition would cause me to nit-pick all of my techniques/talents and find ways to improve them (sometimes when they didn't need improvement). Honestly, perfectionism hasn't been a problem for me since ninth grade; however, the three day film project brought that side of me back out. When I heard about the first film project, my mind was geared towards the direction of making a film that was worth watching. The project automatically turned into competition, rather then a learning experience. It was fascinating how my frustration with the time constraint fought against my perfectionism as I was completing the project and geared me towards a new outlook on future assignments. Perhaps, the perfectionism causes my brain to judge my techniques in a way that creates a closed mind, petrified of constructive criticism. The project has taught me to think spontaneously with ideas, to not put down any decisions I have unless they are terrible, and to concentrate on my feelings towards the actual project. These perspectives can now apply to my performance career where my ideas on how a character should be played (or what he's thinking) can flow more effectively. A large barrier between competition and my skills should also be set up in order to navigate the world in this way.

Ideas for the Magazine

1. Unleashing your holiday spirit in the city for a day. Talk about the top destinations that people should hit when visiting the city during the holidays. The lighting of the Christmas tree, FAO schwarts, A musical, etc.

2. The rights and wrongs of open-cast calls/auditions. I'll mention where to look for the actual auditions, how to prepare, what specifically the directors will look for, etc.

3. The New Iphone or Ipod touch applications available for purchase in the Itunes Appstore. The upcoming applications or apple products that everyone seems to adore during the holiday season. I'm a huge supporter for Apple products and I know most of the school invests in atleast one thing produced by the company.

Unique Actor of the Week: Daniel Day Lewis

Daniel Day Lewis: born in April 1957. Raised in London, England by his mother (an actress) and his father (a poet)

I've recently watched There Will Be Blood featuring Daniel Day Lewis taking on a character that blew my mind. Taking place in the early 1900's, Lewis plays a power-hungry oil prospector willing to overcome any obstacle preventing him from obtaining his dominance and his obsession with the suffering of his competitors. Although this is the only film I've watched featuring this phenomenal actor, I've developed such a respect for his talent. The film alone is exceptional, my eyes were drawn to the cinematography, the minor plot, and most importantly the characterization.

All of Lewis' acting is portrayed through his facial expressions and mannerisms. From start to finish, the plot is extremely minor. What makes this whole movie is the style in which Lewis displays the effect that the events had on his role. It takes a lot of dedication and determination to succeed in this type of character. His role interpretation is not only unique, it follows a path of connecting the actors pessimistic view on the world with the build up of hatred and anger through the actual dialogue. As I look back on the movie, I cannot help but to remember this mans ability to feed off of his supporting actors, use them to form a specific meaning and purpose behind every line. It is obvious that behind every bit of dialogue, Lewis developed a mindset of frustration and anger taken from past experiences. My past acting coaches have stressed this technique on me because it helps the audience feel what you feel, not what they are intended to feel.

Just like the repeating exercise, Lewis would sometimes take a question or a statement and repeat it two times to bounce it off the opposing actor and obtain different reactions. The second time, his emotion would reach its highest point or sometimes contrast with the original tone it portrays. "I am the third revelation, I am the third revelation." Overall, Daniel Day Lewis' purpose throughout the movie is to inform viewers not to let their ego or superiority guide them through life, it is passion and open-minded determination that helps an individual succeed. If you haven't seen this movie yet, I highly recommend it. Hopefully, you can get as much out of it as I did.

Expressionists/ Expressionism

Expressionism is the term used to describe works of art and literature in which the representation distorts reality and conveys an inner vision or meaning. "The expressionist transforms nature rather than imitates it." Unlike Impressionism (style of painting that portrays a general impression and accurate meaning), expressionism art portrays spontaneous emotions, self-expression, inner meaning, and an abstract visual that allows a viewer to interpret whatever he or she wants in the art.

Expressionism originated in mostly Germany, in 1910. The international movement has been thought of as evolving from certain medieval artforms and mostly occured during times of social change or spiritual crisis. Expressionists that brought about this movement are said to be Cezanne, Gauguin, Van Gogh and German groups: Die Brucke and Der blaue Reiter. Expressionism can also be seen in Germanic and Nordic art from the European Middle Ages. Expressionism is common amongst modern artists. The main goal of these expressionists is to surround themselves with art that achieves the highest amount of unrealistic portrayal possible. They accomplish this goal by providing exaggeration, distortion, violence, fantasy, etc. in their art.

Trust: More For the Eye to Catch

I find that the word trust has a lot of depth to it. The word not only has an extensive amount of meanings and definitions, but it has the capability to transform individuals, dig into their minds and pull out their real inner personality/traits. It helps people to focus and develop a secure mindset. Now, I didn't just sit down one day and decide this random philosophy of trust meaning much more then its actual definition (firm belief in the truth).

As an actor, I've grasped the fact that in order to improve, I must first surround myself with the essence of this philosophy. Whether it'd be onstage or in my normal lifestyle, I was taught by STAC workshops and other experienced actors or directors that the key to true acting is the ability to feed off another characters emotions or words. To trust that character and really listen to every word he/she says. As I train in my profession, there seems to always be a way to incorporate that idea into my acting. When I first was told of this technique, I found myself listening much more to what people said to me. I began to absorb information in ways I couldn't even imagine. I would sometimes watch a person as they speak and determine their state of mind. I would attempt to analyze a person and their background with just the way they would speak to me. Their subtle movements or change in tone. No matter what, I could not escape my fascination of people and relationships. This is why when Luke would have us do the repetition exercise, I would become so involved with my partners facial structures, the emotion conveyed through his or her words, etc.

So, how does this all tie into my trust philosophy? Well, I believe that in order to trust an individual enough to give you guidance, one must analyze that individual, stay around him/her and pay close attention to the emotions that are emitted off of that person. Once the individual trusts the other in this way, both of the individuals can be more aware of their surroundings. Be able to recognize when a person is wearing a mask and hiding his/her real personality, when a person is in another state of mind as he/she has a conversation with you, etc. When I was with Kalli in the blindfold exercise, it was hard to trust her without seeing her and meeting her (absorbing her mindset). I found myself very scared at some points because not only did I not know her, I was not in the right mindset without my eyes. The exercise was helpful because I am confronted with this obstacle in acting. The blindfold is a metaphor for the fact that I block out opposing characters on stage and subtract the trust, just say the lines. I've been working on growing out of this fake way of acting and my philosophy of trust has certainly boosted my growth as both an individual and an actor.

A new take on the poem "Music"

Music

Grasp my ears...

Distant angels await...

Vacant roads captured by heartbeat

Pitter Patter, Clash, Clump

Sing! You've paved my phobia

And I'm still petrified

Honestly, I'm not used to these rhythmic habits

I'm not settled

So they abandon me

rewind what's left unharmed

they won't abandon me

if I'm still vacantly well-armed

I noticed way after I wrote this one down that it has a lot to do with my last blog post. Check it out and enjoy!

Craving A New Passion

As most of you know, I took on a challenge the other day as I entertained a copious amount of accepting classmates in STAC with a legendary song. An acoustic guitar in one hand, a powdery old pick in the other, I sang "Hide Your Love Away," by the one and only Beatles. I'll be honest, I was scared out of my mind (as you all probably observed from my shaking leg), but that didn't stop me from wanting to go through with it. Since I'm an actor, this wasn't my first time performing or singing in front of an audience; however, it was my first time bringing my guitar along for the spine-chilling journey. As I think back on this 2 minute performance, the question comes to my mind of why was I so intimidated by a class of supporting artists? I don't think I was as nervous about the song as I was with the fact that actual spectators were going to hear me produce sound out of this fascinating instrument. It was pretty awesome to hear feedback after I ended the performance because pretty much, the only critics I've had for guitar in the past year are me, myself, and I. I honestly practice with this instrument atleast one hour a day, not only because I want to impress my guitar teacher the next lesson. I do it because when my fingers touch the frets, I can't judge myself, my mind enters another sound wave, and I tend to crave the chills on my arms when I hear those dissonant chords erupt from the instrument. Quoting from Oasis, I can "slip inside the eye of my mind" and focus on making music more than anything else. After singing the Beatles tune for everyone, I'm struck by a new passion that I will continue to work at without hesitation. I want to perform more with my guitar as I expand my knowledge and build on my techniques. I can honestly conclude that enjoying something is one thing, but holding a passion for something is totally different. What I'm saying is that I strongly encourage everyone to get up sometime during your years in STAC and have the thrill of displaying your art in front of the most appreciative people you'll ever meet. Who knows, maybe you'll find out what the artsy side of you is really craving.

Vieira Ke-Bob

Vieira Ke-BOB

1 1/2 feet of Guitar String

1 pair of headphones

2 Black medium t-shirts

3 pinches of black mustache hair

2 pairs of spare harry potter glasses

9 cups of salt

3 tsp. of bottle o' love

19 cups of orange juice (pulp)

2 Bobby Vieira ears

1 camel leg (for spice)

Heat a black cauldron over a stove and fill it with the 19 cups of orange juice. When orange juice starts to boil, add the 3 tsp. of bottle o' love

Stir lightly while you make an obnoxious evil giggle

One by one, drop all of the dry ingredients into the pot EXCEPT FOR THE EARS AND CAMEL LEG (warning: a harmless puff of smoke may rise from the cauldron and wrap around your waist during the process)

Heat for 10-15 minutes

Cut the Camel Leg into 4 slices the size of the ears

Put the two Bobby Vieira ears on the stick along with the chopped up camel leg

Dip the Ke- Bob in the black cauldron for 2-3 minutes

Serve Hot with NOTHING

The first STAC Icebreaker

Something is distracting her and I want to know what it is...
This was close to the last picture of Jillian and as you can see here, the photos went on and Jillian became more comfortable with the Camera.
The expression she's making is so realistic. A person usually makes that half-open smile when they've just been insulted.
I wasn't in the room when this picture was taken but this is such a rare expression for Meesh. I'm guessing that she was asked a weird question. I like it because it's an innovative expression for Michelle.
The first of many photographs that have an object as the center of attention. I like it.

The simple bite of the lip makes her seem so interested in whatever it is that's in front of her (obviously ruling out the camera and photographer in this case).
This is a pretty awesome angle. It makes her look like a giant looking down at the lens.
If we were playing charades, he is experiencing an overwhelming allergic reaction?
This reminds me of Zach as Mather in the One Act Plays. Very animated and sensitive.

A common Nina "creeper face" that tends to make me giggle.

I like how there really isn't that much background shown and you can mostly focus on her.

Usually the use of a hand could kill the mood of a photograph, but it works perfectly here for Jess. Fierce!

If there was a little bubble to the left side of Bobby right now displaying his thoughts, this picture would be complete.
Dialogue for this photo: "who are you talking to? Me or Molly? A confused smile, very rare, yet effective.
Again, the photo shows a total different side of the STACie. Here, she comes across as fairly pompous or in a strong disagreement with something. Even though her eyes are closed, I can still get that idea.
I picked this one because it reminds me of an expression Megan would make to get me laughing.
Does anyone else think this kid looks sorta- kinda like me? Especially here!
This is such a typical pose for Jack. If one didn't know him, the photo could reveal a lot about his personality.

For those who know Matt, this is not something he would regularly do. It was cool to make him escape from his comfort zone for a single shot.

This photo of me is one of the few that looks more like a posed photograph as opposed to one taken mid-conversation. I didn't know I was that animated...
Even though we weren't asked to capture the people in the background, I think the contrast between Alex's petrified expression and the three happy students behind him makes the photo seem very original and far from cliche.
Evidence that a picture's worth a thousand words
Her face is so animated here, it could easily be transformed into a cartoon character and blend right in.

It's awesome how the background of this photograph is blurry, yet Liz is crystal clear. Sort of like the world is moving incredibly fast around her, but she is in her own zone, calm and collective.
Hilarious! It's almost like she's imitating what an average fake smile looks like
This photo makes me laugh because not only is it spontaneous, it also makes the viewer wonder what she is about to say or what she's talking about. And the fact that her shirt says "Got Questions?" really helps the reader create dialogue for Becky's photograph
The shot angle of this photo is really professional. It almost looks as if this could be Ashley's headshot.
Most of the pictures that were taken of Nicole were not a bit original. This photograph shows me a whole new side of Nicole. A little bit of an attitude is shown. Perhaps she is distracted or ignoring the camera. I like pictures that show new sides of an individual.
Her facial expressions are one thing, but the actual shot is stupendous. The angle is perfect and the picture portrays bravery, horror, and just plain humor to me (as a viewer).

This picture is truly unique because Leah is in mid- conversation, yet still has an excellent smile that the camera managed to capture. It's almost like this picture was spontaneous to the photographer and Leah.

WOW!

Wow, I am amazed at how far I've come with my art so far in STAC.  I mean, I would have never pictured creating pieces of art (like the set I built out of foam core in Eugenia's workshop, the sketches I made for the mural, or the Warhol paintings) two years ago.  I've learned a lot in STAC so far about creating unique original art pieces.  I've learned that you must always have patience when it comes to creating good art and it also takes dedication to whatever you want to build.  True mastery is when an individual has enough understanding of something to teach it to another individual.  Eugenia's workshop has not really helped me to master set design or costume design because there was not a lot of teaching involved in the costume design portion (we sort of just had to wing it).  Luckily, I felt confident with my sketches because of last years work on the mural.  However, Eugenia really helped my understanding of the basics in set design.  Every workshop she would give me enough attention to help mold my idea into something I can be proud of at the end.  My set has been finished for a week now and every time I look at it, I am very confident in the symbolic meaning of it along with its unique appearance.  After redoing many parts of the structure and working with Eugenia to gear away from "crookedness," I am very proud of the finished product.  I am basically saying that I'm not as bad an artist as I used to think I was.  STAC itself has helped me realize how much symbolism and meaning an art piece can portray and Eugenia's workshop has done more then teach me set design; it has made me express that symbolism through art that I am much more proud of.  Hopefully I can master an incredible amount of art by the end of senior year.  I now know setting goals, patience, and dedication are key when dealing with this.

photo project

file:///Users/douglasfabian/Desktop/IMG_1109.JPG

Workshop 2/11/09

I honestly have to say, at first I felt a little intimidated by this workshop because when it comes to art, I am on the average scale; however, after wednesday, I am starting to see that if I really do set my mind to this type of three-dimensional artwork, I tend to work at a much faster pace and my work is far more creative then how I originally pictured it.  We started working with foam core this week and as my hands struggle to cut straight lines, my patience is growing.  According to Eugenia, "I am definitely working on an original for this sort of stage design."  I am excited to see my finish project because unlike any of the others in the workshop, my stage (setting: science lab) is going to be circular, which should give the science lab an energetic and fun feel to it (almost like a circus).  So far in this workshop, I'm finding that metaphor is key to a good stage design.  I also think that my finished product should use this circular metaphor to gear the audience's minds in the way I read this play, but still leave their minds to wonder about the setting.  Lately as I think about new symbolic things I can add to my miniature stage, I write them down without any hesitation.

Next 11 questions

23.  When confronted with all three of these things, I tend to become intimidated by them.  The superiority makes me uncomfortable and unstable, intrangisence is just another form of superiority if the person is not just smart because they act it, and as for talent, at most auditions, I must listen to talented boys and girls my age perform.  Just the fact alone that they are competing against me makes me lose self-esteem and at times ruins my performance.

24.  When faced with stupidity, I tend to be more accepting and understanding; at times I get a sense of superiority.  

With hostility, I respond by acting like someone else to make that person accept me; usually depends on how well I want to get to know that person. 

Intransigence usually makes me back down to the person and listen to them even though we may not agree on something.  Rarely do I disagree with things; it really depends on how intimidating a person is to oppose their ideas. 

I get very frustrated with laziness because to tolerate someone like that, it requires a lot of patience.  

And for all the indifferent people, I don't count on them surviving very long socially.  However, sympathy is not that important in the performing arts; independence is key.

25. I view impending success and threat of failure as the same exact thing because whether you are about to succeed or fail in something, you are still in the middle (at the tip of the cliff).  Without these in between feelings in life, I wouldn't know as much as I do now.  If I never missed a dance step, or was never told I missed this assignment and I am in jeopardy, etc. life would be extremely boring.  Yes, I may not like the feeling at times, but it does help to drive me in the right directions.

26.  At most times during work, I like both the process and result but usually none of that matters to me.  What matters the most is what I'm learning and what my emotions are during the process and the ending result.  If I feel as if I failed in both, then what I did to obtain that goal doesn't matter.  If I feel as if I succeeded, then I do care about the process and I eventually use it for later references.  Most of it is all a learning experience; however, it is unfortunate sometimes that my emotions matter more then my actions.

27. My reach exceeds my grasp when I set goals for myself that I am either incapable of accomplishing, don't have enough time to accomplish, or are blocked by another person.

28.  singing without anyone there to judge me 

29. judgement

30. twenty-eight never happens unless I am home alone singing to myself; I am faced with twenty-nine every single day.  Judgement is not a good type of attention for me.

31. I would change question 29 to over-attention

32.  True mastery is when an individual has enough understanding of something to teach it to another individual

33. My greatest dream is to wake up everyday with no chips on my shoulder and to be doing something I love no matter what it is.  I want to be able to get a job in the performing arts where I can safely say, "I worked hard to get here."

22 questions

visit this site to view my 22 answers:

http://doug.stacworld.net/blog1.html