Perfectionism: My New Frenemy?

I've noticed... I've been navigating the world creatively without even knowing...

Recently, I have pondered the process of "getting things done" artistically and how much of a perfectionist I am in the process. When it comes to my main disciplines, I am quick to express my art; however, the process is intense and at times, nerve-wracking. A few weeks ago, I found the perfect thing to help me express my talent and at the same time, force me to admire perfectionism in a way. I'm sure you all heard of the "talent-craving" site: YouTube. Recently, my sister and I took on a challenge to put up three videos a week incorporating our vocals, guitar, and piano. At first, It was simple to start the channel because we're so used to jamming and connecting with music. However, once that camera hit our face, the thoughts of "what the world will think of this" and "are these good enough?" slithered through our minds.

Our channel consists of various covers of hit songs, incorporating our distinct harmony. This is the intense process: pick a song, memorize the lyrics, practice with guitar and vocals, add harmony, and record as many times until we enjoy the product. At times, I find this channel humorous because we OBSESS over this modern passage to fame. However, it's our passion (so we have no reason to get bored of it), and it's great practice for guitar, vocals, and ear training. Although my sister and I can re-record and press rewind, the channel keeps us determined and makes perfectionism significant in good music. Without the constructive criticism left in the comment box and without the over-practicing, Nat and I wouldn't be able to improve in our future videos. I think there should be an exception to the rule: when the product of perfectionism creates boundaries and blocks, we should avoid it. But when perfectionism surrounds us with confidence and beneficial hard work, we're allowed to cling to it more...

I hope you can all come check out our channel and follow us on this journey: http://www.youtube.com/dougandnat

STAC: The Journey so Far...

Lately, STAC has been altering my perspective on acting, causing me to view my discipline with a broadened mind, and see the world with open eyes. The space between reality and my invisible acting bubble has diminished within the past year. In other words, my acting is becoming exceedingly realistic, I am attentive to all surrounding actors, and my mind is constantly gearing away from judging the roles that I take on.

Ever since the repeating exercise, my mind is always focused on the emotions of the other actor or the other actor’s state of mind, as opposed to directing my attention to strictly reading the dialogue. This technique is decreasing the space between reality and my acting bubble by helping me gain more attentiveness onstage. I’ve learned that acting is reacting to emotions, facial expressions, and tone of voice. My analysis of opposing actors is constantly allowing my characters to develop. I now find myself looking into the eyes of actors as I say my lines, anticipating what they could say next (as if I didn’t know the script at all). I am also studying frightening/angry actors that play intimidating roles with pessimistic personalities. When watching Daniel Day Lewis dominate as the intimidating oil prospector in There Will Be Blood, I was struck by his acting ability to repeat his lines two times, sometimes with contrasting emotion and tone, and deliver brand new meanings to the viewer. Overall, what made his anger develop was his mindset and subtext behind each line, which he most likely provided by himself (on his own time). His emotions were most likely conveyed easier through his ability to restrain from judging his character. I’ve learned this year that judging a character is never successful in getting a purpose across; it is the true understanding of where your character is coming from, the characters perspective on his surroundings, that make actors form real life situations for the audience. It is fascinating how Daniel Day Lewis has taught me all of this from portraying his true interpretation of his character within There Will Be Blood.

I still find myself battling the destruction of this bubble, wanting to keep it shut as I go on with my navigation through life as an artist. I still find that I am judging the roles that I take on. For example, I tend to form extreme hate for one character that I play in The Dining Room. I am finding that it is better to travel behind the eyes of the character, view the prompt with his negative perspective. I’ve been trying to attach real life situations to these intense characters in the play, and if this is too difficult, I pay closer attention to the opposing actor, developing emotion that is dug up from a deeper subtext, one that I could relate too. I am now finding a way to incorporate some of this into my music and lyrics…

Ah! Perfectionism, Perfectionism

"Doug, it doesn't have to be perfect!" I hear the sentence at least twice a week as I navigate the world. It tends to sneak up on me as I act, sing, shoot films, and complete projects. I'm not sure how my ideal perspective on getting things done came to be. I believe it was the competition that used to drive my frustration when I was younger. The competition would cause me to nit-pick all of my techniques/talents and find ways to improve them (sometimes when they didn't need improvement). Honestly, perfectionism hasn't been a problem for me since ninth grade; however, the three day film project brought that side of me back out. When I heard about the first film project, my mind was geared towards the direction of making a film that was worth watching. The project automatically turned into competition, rather then a learning experience. It was fascinating how my frustration with the time constraint fought against my perfectionism as I was completing the project and geared me towards a new outlook on future assignments. Perhaps, the perfectionism causes my brain to judge my techniques in a way that creates a closed mind, petrified of constructive criticism. The project has taught me to think spontaneously with ideas, to not put down any decisions I have unless they are terrible, and to concentrate on my feelings towards the actual project. These perspectives can now apply to my performance career where my ideas on how a character should be played (or what he's thinking) can flow more effectively. A large barrier between competition and my skills should also be set up in order to navigate the world in this way.

Ideas for the Magazine

1. Unleashing your holiday spirit in the city for a day. Talk about the top destinations that people should hit when visiting the city during the holidays. The lighting of the Christmas tree, FAO schwarts, A musical, etc.

2. The rights and wrongs of open-cast calls/auditions. I'll mention where to look for the actual auditions, how to prepare, what specifically the directors will look for, etc.

3. The New Iphone or Ipod touch applications available for purchase in the Itunes Appstore. The upcoming applications or apple products that everyone seems to adore during the holiday season. I'm a huge supporter for Apple products and I know most of the school invests in atleast one thing produced by the company.

Unique Actor of the Week: Daniel Day Lewis

Daniel Day Lewis: born in April 1957. Raised in London, England by his mother (an actress) and his father (a poet)

I've recently watched There Will Be Blood featuring Daniel Day Lewis taking on a character that blew my mind. Taking place in the early 1900's, Lewis plays a power-hungry oil prospector willing to overcome any obstacle preventing him from obtaining his dominance and his obsession with the suffering of his competitors. Although this is the only film I've watched featuring this phenomenal actor, I've developed such a respect for his talent. The film alone is exceptional, my eyes were drawn to the cinematography, the minor plot, and most importantly the characterization.

All of Lewis' acting is portrayed through his facial expressions and mannerisms. From start to finish, the plot is extremely minor. What makes this whole movie is the style in which Lewis displays the effect that the events had on his role. It takes a lot of dedication and determination to succeed in this type of character. His role interpretation is not only unique, it follows a path of connecting the actors pessimistic view on the world with the build up of hatred and anger through the actual dialogue. As I look back on the movie, I cannot help but to remember this mans ability to feed off of his supporting actors, use them to form a specific meaning and purpose behind every line. It is obvious that behind every bit of dialogue, Lewis developed a mindset of frustration and anger taken from past experiences. My past acting coaches have stressed this technique on me because it helps the audience feel what you feel, not what they are intended to feel.

Just like the repeating exercise, Lewis would sometimes take a question or a statement and repeat it two times to bounce it off the opposing actor and obtain different reactions. The second time, his emotion would reach its highest point or sometimes contrast with the original tone it portrays. "I am the third revelation, I am the third revelation." Overall, Daniel Day Lewis' purpose throughout the movie is to inform viewers not to let their ego or superiority guide them through life, it is passion and open-minded determination that helps an individual succeed. If you haven't seen this movie yet, I highly recommend it. Hopefully, you can get as much out of it as I did.

Expressionists/ Expressionism

Expressionism is the term used to describe works of art and literature in which the representation distorts reality and conveys an inner vision or meaning. "The expressionist transforms nature rather than imitates it." Unlike Impressionism (style of painting that portrays a general impression and accurate meaning), expressionism art portrays spontaneous emotions, self-expression, inner meaning, and an abstract visual that allows a viewer to interpret whatever he or she wants in the art.

Expressionism originated in mostly Germany, in 1910. The international movement has been thought of as evolving from certain medieval artforms and mostly occured during times of social change or spiritual crisis. Expressionists that brought about this movement are said to be Cezanne, Gauguin, Van Gogh and German groups: Die Brucke and Der blaue Reiter. Expressionism can also be seen in Germanic and Nordic art from the European Middle Ages. Expressionism is common amongst modern artists. The main goal of these expressionists is to surround themselves with art that achieves the highest amount of unrealistic portrayal possible. They accomplish this goal by providing exaggeration, distortion, violence, fantasy, etc. in their art.

Trust: More For the Eye to Catch

I find that the word trust has a lot of depth to it. The word not only has an extensive amount of meanings and definitions, but it has the capability to transform individuals, dig into their minds and pull out their real inner personality/traits. It helps people to focus and develop a secure mindset. Now, I didn't just sit down one day and decide this random philosophy of trust meaning much more then its actual definition (firm belief in the truth).

As an actor, I've grasped the fact that in order to improve, I must first surround myself with the essence of this philosophy. Whether it'd be onstage or in my normal lifestyle, I was taught by STAC workshops and other experienced actors or directors that the key to true acting is the ability to feed off another characters emotions or words. To trust that character and really listen to every word he/she says. As I train in my profession, there seems to always be a way to incorporate that idea into my acting. When I first was told of this technique, I found myself listening much more to what people said to me. I began to absorb information in ways I couldn't even imagine. I would sometimes watch a person as they speak and determine their state of mind. I would attempt to analyze a person and their background with just the way they would speak to me. Their subtle movements or change in tone. No matter what, I could not escape my fascination of people and relationships. This is why when Luke would have us do the repetition exercise, I would become so involved with my partners facial structures, the emotion conveyed through his or her words, etc.

So, how does this all tie into my trust philosophy? Well, I believe that in order to trust an individual enough to give you guidance, one must analyze that individual, stay around him/her and pay close attention to the emotions that are emitted off of that person. Once the individual trusts the other in this way, both of the individuals can be more aware of their surroundings. Be able to recognize when a person is wearing a mask and hiding his/her real personality, when a person is in another state of mind as he/she has a conversation with you, etc. When I was with Kalli in the blindfold exercise, it was hard to trust her without seeing her and meeting her (absorbing her mindset). I found myself very scared at some points because not only did I not know her, I was not in the right mindset without my eyes. The exercise was helpful because I am confronted with this obstacle in acting. The blindfold is a metaphor for the fact that I block out opposing characters on stage and subtract the trust, just say the lines. I've been working on growing out of this fake way of acting and my philosophy of trust has certainly boosted my growth as both an individual and an actor.