Perfectionism: My New Frenemy?

I've noticed... I've been navigating the world creatively without even knowing...

Recently, I have pondered the process of "getting things done" artistically and how much of a perfectionist I am in the process. When it comes to my main disciplines, I am quick to express my art; however, the process is intense and at times, nerve-wracking. A few weeks ago, I found the perfect thing to help me express my talent and at the same time, force me to admire perfectionism in a way. I'm sure you all heard of the "talent-craving" site: YouTube. Recently, my sister and I took on a challenge to put up three videos a week incorporating our vocals, guitar, and piano. At first, It was simple to start the channel because we're so used to jamming and connecting with music. However, once that camera hit our face, the thoughts of "what the world will think of this" and "are these good enough?" slithered through our minds.

Our channel consists of various covers of hit songs, incorporating our distinct harmony. This is the intense process: pick a song, memorize the lyrics, practice with guitar and vocals, add harmony, and record as many times until we enjoy the product. At times, I find this channel humorous because we OBSESS over this modern passage to fame. However, it's our passion (so we have no reason to get bored of it), and it's great practice for guitar, vocals, and ear training. Although my sister and I can re-record and press rewind, the channel keeps us determined and makes perfectionism significant in good music. Without the constructive criticism left in the comment box and without the over-practicing, Nat and I wouldn't be able to improve in our future videos. I think there should be an exception to the rule: when the product of perfectionism creates boundaries and blocks, we should avoid it. But when perfectionism surrounds us with confidence and beneficial hard work, we're allowed to cling to it more...

I hope you can all come check out our channel and follow us on this journey: http://www.youtube.com/dougandnat

STAC: The Journey so Far...

Lately, STAC has been altering my perspective on acting, causing me to view my discipline with a broadened mind, and see the world with open eyes. The space between reality and my invisible acting bubble has diminished within the past year. In other words, my acting is becoming exceedingly realistic, I am attentive to all surrounding actors, and my mind is constantly gearing away from judging the roles that I take on.

Ever since the repeating exercise, my mind is always focused on the emotions of the other actor or the other actor’s state of mind, as opposed to directing my attention to strictly reading the dialogue. This technique is decreasing the space between reality and my acting bubble by helping me gain more attentiveness onstage. I’ve learned that acting is reacting to emotions, facial expressions, and tone of voice. My analysis of opposing actors is constantly allowing my characters to develop. I now find myself looking into the eyes of actors as I say my lines, anticipating what they could say next (as if I didn’t know the script at all). I am also studying frightening/angry actors that play intimidating roles with pessimistic personalities. When watching Daniel Day Lewis dominate as the intimidating oil prospector in There Will Be Blood, I was struck by his acting ability to repeat his lines two times, sometimes with contrasting emotion and tone, and deliver brand new meanings to the viewer. Overall, what made his anger develop was his mindset and subtext behind each line, which he most likely provided by himself (on his own time). His emotions were most likely conveyed easier through his ability to restrain from judging his character. I’ve learned this year that judging a character is never successful in getting a purpose across; it is the true understanding of where your character is coming from, the characters perspective on his surroundings, that make actors form real life situations for the audience. It is fascinating how Daniel Day Lewis has taught me all of this from portraying his true interpretation of his character within There Will Be Blood.

I still find myself battling the destruction of this bubble, wanting to keep it shut as I go on with my navigation through life as an artist. I still find that I am judging the roles that I take on. For example, I tend to form extreme hate for one character that I play in The Dining Room. I am finding that it is better to travel behind the eyes of the character, view the prompt with his negative perspective. I’ve been trying to attach real life situations to these intense characters in the play, and if this is too difficult, I pay closer attention to the opposing actor, developing emotion that is dug up from a deeper subtext, one that I could relate too. I am now finding a way to incorporate some of this into my music and lyrics…